Too Earnest

The sometimes serious, but generally frivolous, musings of a city girl now living in the woods.

Five-0 Bingo

Episode 3.21:  Imi loko ka ‘uhane

50 bingo 3.21 copy

Episode Grade:  B-.  I liked it.  I didn’t love it, but I liked it.  I laughed a few times and snorted loudly a few more.  I loved they way Show made fun of/acknowledged some of the worst parts of itself along the way.  Aisha Tyler was smarmy as a mean talk show host.  And lets face it, this cast looks lovely from behind.  I am OK with them being followed, if you get my drift.

Also, Chin Ho would like to be a Jazz Trumpeter!!! Fantastic.

Let’s also acknowledge that I was one-one!-away from Bingo.  I am tempted to change it to “Envy inducing mountain montage” just so I can get one.

Episode 3.18:  Na Ki’I

50 card 3.18

Episode Grade:  A.  This was a good one.  I mean there were feelings, a little movement on some lingering plot problems and, perhaps most importantly, Cath in hot pants and fishnets.  Why, you ask?  Roller derby!  I do wonder, though, when we will see Danno and McG in hot pants gratuitously.

As you can see, though, I had to go to the alternate board because there was Absolutely. No. Shirtlessness.  This has got to be remedied soon.  Or Put McG back in his uniform or Danny back in a tie (not just for a three second shot at a funeral) or something.  Seriously, I need a bingo.

Alex O’Loughlin and Michelle Borth killed it this episode, so if you want to watch some actual acting take place in a procedural, this is the episode for you.  That said, my favorite moment was when Danny showed his extensive knowledge of the rules of Roller Derby.  Fantastic.

Episode 3.17–Pa’ani

50 3.17 Bingo copy

Episode Grade:  B+ I really enjoyed this one.  The COTW was, well, meh, but it wasn’t awful, either.  No children were terrorized, no major cultural groups were offended.  It was good, old-fashioned procedural fun.  With football!  This is how a crossover event is done right.  Since the Pro-Bowl actually happens in Honolulu this makes some sense, and unlike Victoria’s Secret, it wasn’t too gratuitous.  Props to Arian Foster, Houton Texans, for playing along and props to the writing department for giving Danno and McGarrett some fun banter that didn’t seem so angry.  It was a lot like they liked hanging out with each other.  Awwww….

However, TPTB, I absolutely cannot get a bingo unless you let some people go shirtless or get Chin back on his bike.  This is getting serious.

Also serious? Steve’s shirt kept changing colors.  You have got to work on your continuity problems or you are going to have a fangirl riot on your hands.  Just sayin.

Episode 3.14–Hana I Wa’ia

50 bingo 3.14

Episode Grade:  A+++  This episode was exactly why I love this show.  The ohana were back together, and as much as I like Michelle Borth, she wasn’t a 5th wheel; it was just the gang, back together again.  But!  With appearances from some of the best:  Wo Fat, Charlie Fong was in the house, and the Governor, played lispily by Richard T. Jones was back.  Actually, by the end, I was hoping he would join the team, and let’s face McDenning could be another fabulous bromance.  Just sayin’.  The COTW was, for once, really interesting and gripping, actually.  I kept hollering at the screen, or clapping my hands to sort of break the tension and yell, “Yes!”

And, this is easily the closest I have come to a bingo in a long time, thanks to hella good car driving, helicoptering and McDanno flirting.  If only Kono had been allowed to go surfing, or Chin could’ve dusted off his motorcycle.  I’m getting closer, though.

Episode 3.13– Olelo Ho’opa’i Make

50 bingo 3.13 copy

Episode Grade:  B for BAMF Chin, which was nice to see.  Also, it could be A for Abs because we saw a lot of them, but alas, not Steve’s or Danny’s.  And it seems we may never see Kono’s again, which is a shame, but I digress.  This week the team finds one of its own, Chin, dropped into Halawa Maximum Security prison, and conspire to get him out before some disgruntled ex-cops and cons kill him.  They actually broke him out of prison by flying a helicopter into the yard.  I kept thinking, “The governor’s gonna be pissed…”  All in a day’s work, I guess, for the 5-0 Task Force.

Not as much humor, and hardly any McDanno, as your typical episode, but it was fun to see, (a) Kono interact more with the team, and (b) some BAMFness and hotness from the non-Caucasian members of the team.  Plus the Jimmy Hendrix soundtrack was actually pretty great.

Episode 3.12–Kapu

50 bingo 3.12 copy

Episode Grade:  C, for chuckles.  That’s right.  I liked this one a lot.  I mean, first, there’s E-train, Danno’s nephew from Jersey.  Then some frat girls think Danno and Steve are someone’s “Dads.”  Then, Steve doesn’t even mind being one of two dads; he objects to being old enough to have a college-aged daughter–hee!  Plus we get some Charlie Fong, some Sang Min, a brief Kamekona sighting and we get to hear spoken Hawaiian on television.  Real life Hawaiian.  It was amazing–and I wondered how often the average person gets to hear a language that almost died.  Good Stuff, H50.

The choose your own villain thang?  Stupid.  But it’s a minor quibble.

Episode 3.11–Kahu

50 bingo 3.11

Episode Grade:  C for Crap Christmas.  Actually, it was probably more of a B.  There was simply NOT enough McDanno, which as you may know, is what I love most about this ridiculous show.  Well, there was one great cargument about Christmas at the McGarrets (“You give out subscriptions to Guns & Ammo? Huh?  Grenades as stocking stuffers?).  Luckily the COTW involved a great kid, who was McGarrett Jr., flirting between Cath and McG, and Cath kicking some serious a$$.  Seriously, that girl can take care of herself.

At the end, McG dons a tux and takes Cath on a romantic getaway, and *barf* the whole crew applauds his surprise romanticalness.  Whatever.  I like Cath, a lot actually, but I am not sure the writers have ever had him do anything more out of character. And, most lamentably, George Takei was positively wasted in his blink-and-you-miss-’em appearance.  Luckily, he is one of Kono and Chin’s Uncles, so maybe, just maybe we will see him again.

Episode 3.10–Huaka’i Kula


This episode almost wants me to take back every damning thing I said about the last episode because this one was super fun and it was what makes this show great:  Cute boys, banter and gorgeous scenery.  Good on you, Show.  Nobody did anything particularly offensive to native Hawaiians, there was less of the shoot first-talk later bulls/t that I hate and except for when I snorted out loud when Chin flashed his badge and said, “I am one of the good guys,” it wasn’t the propaganda-fest it often is.

Instead it was funny–when Danno didn’t understand the ten-year-old girl’s cell phone explanation, for example–, there was lovely eye-candy–Kono in a lovely (and short) dress, the boys being pretty sexy in casual attire, and the Hawaiian landscape–and it didn’t reach too far.  I mean, it was just a fun episode about a camping trip gone awry, and nobody turned out to be a terrorist or a foreign despot.  So, again, I say, good on you, Show.

But, you’re going to have to do a lot to erase the awfulness that was last week (AKA Victoria’s Secret crossover).

Episode 3.09–Ha’awe Make Loa


Episode Grade:  D-.  If Uncle Steve wasn’t so damned cute with Monkey, and if Kono weren’t so beautiful, it would be an F.  F, I tell you.  This episode stunk up the place.  Even filling out my Bingo card was sad; there were no chuckles about Alex O’s comedy, no cargument, nor even reminders of how sweet McDanno can be.

The best part was Max, who was not even a character when the Bingo Board was first created by the good people of Entertainment Weekly, so even though I got as close as I’ve come to a bingo, the episode still sucked.  If you are wondering what the fuss is all about, don’t watch this one to find out.

Victoria Secret crossover episode, pffft.

Next week?  Our boys go on a camping trip with Monkey and Ex-Mr. Rosanne Barr shows up.  Should be fun.  It couldn’t actually be any worse than this week.

Episode 3.08–Wahine’inoloa

Episode Grade:  B, for bo-ring.  The case of the week was uninteresting, the family dynamic was predictable and I wanted more comedy.  It could also be called B for BAMF, as Cath Rollins proved herself to be cool under pressure, even though the producers decided to end her badass moment with a hair commercial wind-blowing-in-the-breeze long shot.

As for the bingo board, the “Book ’em, Danno” was long overdue, and the helicopter ride was really just a hint of one, but you know.  It counts, OK.  McGarrett did not break eight jillion police brutality laws, but he did break a restraining order somewhat wantonly, so I decided to call it.  Not enough flirting or shirtlessness, so, you know, a yawn.

Next week?  Victoria Secret product placement.  Good times.  (By that I mean—Ugh.)

2 comments on “Five-0 Bingo

  1. SJ2 (Junk Kicker)
    March 14, 2013

    I want to play!!

  2. Girlsage
    March 14, 2013

    I was thinking of uploading them onto Twitter. To add to the conversation/ogling.

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